Let me address some rumours and drama because it is becoming extremely hurtful and haven’t been completely accurate.
This whole plagiarism thing. Yes there have been some mistakes and misunderstandings and I’m going to explain each one.
The first was the autochorissexualism image. I got the definition from anagnori’s tumblr. I didn’t know though they had written the definition themselves so I didn’t think I needed to source it back to anagnori. I thought it had been made by Anthony. I didn’t put my name on the image to say I made the definition, I just put my name on it because I made the image. But we’ve covered that it was a mistake not to cite them and I have talked it over with anagnori and it’s over and dealt with. I might try to remake the image by either changing the definition to personalize it or adding a credit to anagnori in the image. The later may be more likely.
The second was the black and yellow doodle about aromanticism. I had found it through an asexual humour facebook page. It didn’t give me source so I didn’t include one when I posted it. So the original artist got furious with me because they think I stole the image from them, which was a simple misunderstanding. I have then talked to them and we had resolved the issue. I had deleted the post and reblogged from the original artist.
The latest being this post (I am linking it to the pinterest post I found it from because I have since deleted the tumblr post). This one is a particularly messy situation. As said, I had found the image on pinterest originally. I loved the post because it was very powerful. I wasn’t a huge fan of the quality of the image though, so I decided to click the source and remake the screenshot. Knowing I needed to source them so I wasn’t plagiarizing it, I added the source, adding a link to their blog in the caption. I was not claiming the story as my own. I was merely sharing a powerful message/story. Unbeknownst to me, the original poster had regretted making that post and didn’t want it shared, least of all, made a picture which would circulate better than a text post (which is why I kept it an image in the first place instead of reblogging as a text post). So after a friend of the original poster sent me nasty messages, I decided to go and try to apologize to the original poster. It ended up being a bust and I got screamed at and given massive attitude. They interpreted my apology as me talking down to them, which was not what I was trying to do.
The righteous anger you feel is justified. I made mistakes, but I have resolved or tried to resolve them with those who were hurt by these mistakes. Apologies require both accountability and action, I have taken action by replacing or removing the graphics that were problematic and I have made myself accountable to those who’s work I used erroneously. I have my own cross I have to bare in terms of mental health which makes dealing with all this online hatred especially hard on me. Like the original poster, I also regretted posting/saying things in my emotional states. I still make those mistakes and it leads to what is happening now. I didn’t mean to “sic” my followers on them. I can’t control the actions of other people. They do what they choose to do. Though I do understand one of my posts was worded wrong and it sounded like I wanted people to send them nasty messages. It was really more me being emotional and wanting people who were upset with *me* to send nasty messages to *me*. I said some things I wish that I hadn’t, and I’ve retracted them now.
Some have called me a coward for deleting posts that were problematic. That is part of the accountability I talked about up above. I removed posts that were problematic not because I was trying to hide them but because I was trying to resolve the situation, which in some cases included removing information that shouldn’t have been made public.
To address this post that is snowballing some awful comments about me, I’m going to address certain points. First, I become rude it is when I receive rude messages that spark them. If people were polite about the things they would have liked changed, I would respond politely. But most people opt straight for the slap in the face first. As for the “sic their followers on them”, I’ve already addressed that. For the “asexuals can have sex too”, am I expected to say asexual can’t have sex? Because that is untrue and throwing many people under the bus and invalidating their orientation. For the 101 panel, I was not saying asexual relationships were “purer”. I was misunderstood. I was saying relationships (whether they be with sexual or asexual people) that *focus* on the emotional bond rather than just lust tend to be more successful, because lust and beauty fade. Many sources I’ve read believe in that. I was not saying that you are less asexual if you have sex or that if you have sex it isn’t a good relationship. I even agreed with what Bess responded to my point with at the panel (though I don’t remember if I vocalized my agreement). I am still learning to articulate my point, and I clearly wasn’t able to in this situation. Especially if it’s during public speaking because I have stage fright. For the dressing appropriately/professionally, I have *stated* that the point was completely *optional* and more of a *suggestion*. I was speaking for what I would like to see and that standards of public speaking indicate that dressing the part is a piece of successful speaking.
I think I covered everything. The basic point is I’m human, I make mistakes, I have emotions that are just as important as everyone else’s. I’m still learning. I’ve learned from these citation mishaps. But it’s hurtful to make such nasty posts about my blog when I’m volunteering my time, trying my best to be a helpful resource supplier and to spread the many messages of the asexual community. Can we please stop getting high off the fumes of righteous indignation? We’re all learning about asexuality together and the fact that I make mistakes is not a reason to be cruel and rub it in.
How to apologize, 101. Let’s give Amy some breathing room, community. <3